It needs a better title, but I can't even think right now.
Bad Luck by CailinLiath is short humorous fiction at its best: hints of an interesting, greater setting pair well with madcap disasters following the subject of the piece (
That's actually really quite amazing. The amount of detail and movement you described is beautifully put and flows exceptionally well together. (Although, I found a slight typing error ) You should certainly become an author... if you aren't already!!!
"On social occasions, every man had some Charlie characteristics: this one his profile, that one his shoulders, another his eyes. It was as if the City were populated by prototype Charlies. But none of them had his smile. She had tried to forget about Charlie, tried to dismiss his constant periphery, but it was difficult with these ever-present reminders, these almosts."
I really love this paragraph! I hope you're proud of it. What a thoughtful way to say something so many people have said in such cliche ways. Nice work
You obviously put a lot of effort into the logical organization of this piece. The only line that stuck out strangely to me was:
"...her carton of Animal-Free organic milk..."
Since there's almond milk, coconut milk, soy milk, rice milk, hemp milk, and so on, I think it makes a lot more sense just to use one of those beverages by name than specify "Animal-Free," which sounds awkward. An alternative would be to use "non-dairy milk," which tends to be a preferred term when not referring to milks by name.
Oh, I see. In that case, it seems like a difficult thing to communicate for a passing remark.
The only question that remains is why someone would create a synthetic milk and then go through the additional trouble of making it appear to come from an animal/dairy. Would that still render it non-Kosher? Is lactose-intolerence still a problem? haha...
I understand the intent is to fit with the science fiction motif, though. Best of luck on your stories!
Wow. Expanding this would be something to wrap my head around. But if - if, if - I manage to get with the flash fic, i.e. catch up, I plan to base all the stories around the city. And so you might see Shandee and Charlie again.