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FFM #1
Three days, 998 words.

It needs a better title, but I can't even think right now.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-08-20
Bad Luck by CailinLiath is short humorous fiction at its best: hints of an interesting, greater setting pair well with madcap disasters following the subject of the piece ( Featured by ShadowedAcolyte )
:iconartbyfieldsofsage:
artbyfieldsofsage Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The title is perfect ... the story, the writing, is wonderful ... and I congratulate you on the well-deserved DD!
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:icontrippy4u:
Trippy4U Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014
Congrats...fine work :clap:
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:iconanupdin:
AnuPdin Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014
interesting style! this somehow reminds me of Lazarus Long stories..
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:iconjohnjones202:
JohnJones202 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
I enjoyed reading that quite a bit! That's a hell of a short story.
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:iconzimmyrose:
ZimmyRose Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's actually really quite amazing. The amount of detail and movement you described is beautifully put and flows exceptionally well together. (Although, I found a slight typing error ;) )
You should certainly become an author... if you aren't already!!!
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:iconsevenofeleven:
sevenofeleven Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
Well done.

How about:
"Her Laser sight Reflected"
"Bad luck better than no luck"
The Man of Dis hour's disasters.
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:icondoublethefun:
doublethefun Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
"On social occasions, every man had some Charlie characteristics: this one his profile, that one his shoulders, another his eyes. It was as if the City were populated by prototype Charlies. But none of them had his smile. She had tried to forget about Charlie, tried to dismiss his constant periphery, but it was difficult with these ever-present reminders, these almosts."

I really love this paragraph! I hope you're proud of it. What a thoughtful way to say something so many people have said in such cliche ways. Nice work :)
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:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
"It was as if the City were populated by prototype Charlies." is one of the freshest descriptions of the feeling of having a huge crush that I've read in a long time.
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:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome, witty and unique. :clap: 
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:iconold-doc:
old-doc Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Fun and really racy flash fiction. A lot of narrative in less than 1000 words. Great!
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:iconlucyann-san:
Lucyann-san Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is hilarious. The thought walking bad luck charm is common, but the execution I the piece was unique and quirky.
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:iconelenna-huntress:
Elenna-Huntress Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
Oh, Charlie...! A walking, smiling incarnation of improbably bad luck. Poor Shandee. :D
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:iconagonizingswordfish:
AgonizingSwordfish Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Congrats on the DD! :la:
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:iconsparrowwrightheart:
SparrowWrightheart Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I would read a full novel about these characters. :D Great job. XD
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:iconsubzerochimera:
SubzeroChimera Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
short, lively, and to the point. Well done! Congrats on the DD!
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:iconkanepaws:
KanePaws Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
You obviously put a lot of effort into the logical organization of this piece. The only line that stuck out strangely to me was:

"...her carton of Animal-Free organic milk..."

Since there's almond milk, coconut milk, soy milk, rice milk, hemp milk, and so on, I think it makes a lot more sense just to use one of those beverages by name than specify "Animal-Free," which sounds awkward. An alternative would be to use "non-dairy milk," which tends to be a preferred term when not referring to milks by name. :)
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:iconcailinliath:
CailinLiath Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014
I meant to imply synthetic dairy milk. I should probably clarify. 
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:iconkanepaws:
KanePaws Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014
Oh, I see. In that case, it seems like a difficult thing to communicate for a passing remark.

The only question that remains is why someone would create a synthetic milk and then go through the additional trouble of making it appear to come from an animal/dairy. Would that still render it non-Kosher? Is lactose-intolerence still a problem? haha...

I understand the intent is to fit with the science fiction motif, though. Best of luck on your stories! :)
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:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
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:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'd love to read more!
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:iconcatluvr2:
catluvr2 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:lmao: I loved it. Congrats on the DD! :+favlove:
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:iconapnucka:
APnucka Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is really cute! I think the title works perfectly, and wouldn't fret about it.
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:iconextraaccount-1:
ExtraAccount-1 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
:iconallthetimeplz:
woah, this is awesome!


long live da booty
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:iconadeimantus:
Adeimantus Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
Good stuff. I could see this expanded to novel length, or a feature screenplay. You do black comedy well, my dear.
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:iconcailinliath:
CailinLiath Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
Wow. Expanding this would be something to wrap my head around. But if - if, if - I manage to get with the flash fic, i.e. catch up, I plan to base all the stories around the city. And so you might see Shandee and Charlie again.
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:iconzimmyrose:
ZimmyRose Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That sounds spectacular
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July 3, 2012
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